My personal lowest week yet...

Ok....so to bring everyone up to speed....We had a few deadlines we had to meet.....Ray had to be back to work no later then November 17th (Our FMLA ran out....if not back by then...no job...no benefits) Dr. Scott reluctantly gave a note (Ray had to follow it to a "T") only one run per day and no lifting and no carrying things. He is still only supposed to put 50% of his weight on the leg and is still on a crutch (we are hoping to purchase a cane soon when we have the money) So Ray goes in to work and they said they weren't too sure of him driving with those type of restrictions. They wanted to check with risk management. So he was sent home that day. BUT the miracle part of that is....the next day they had some "office" work for him to do. Just a few weeks prior they had gotten a new computer system and they are behind inputting all the paperwork. (ever hear the saying when a door closes the Lord opens a window??? HERE is one of those times!) We don't know how long he will have this opportunity BUT it gives him something to do....gives us a little more income (which is so desperately needed! It is so hard to ask for help from family, ask for charity, etc....but without it we would be far worse off!) Ray and I have worried horribly about bills....our mortgage is still too far behind.....and with the holidays it was even more worrisome for the girls...but again we have had SO MANY miracles on our behalf.....I wanted to personal thank all those again who have sacrificed and provided for our family (even those anonymously!!) Ok....that upbeat part done.....Now to the doom and gloom...(and the lowest of the lows) Ray had his CT scan a couple of weeks ago. (They did chest, abdomen, and leg) Ray and I knew when Dr. Ott asked for both of us to be on the phone that wasn't good.....The upper part is clean as a whistle!!! But there was a "spot" that Dr. Ott said showed up on the leg. And since he is not the Ortho Oncologist he referred us back to Dr. Scott. We called their office (they are in the same building as Dr. Ott) told them that the CT was available to view online (isn't modern technology wonderful!) Lani said she would have Dr. Scott look at it then let us know. Well a couple hours later she called and asked when our next appointment was....we said December 16th...she said...well lets get you in now to discuss options....both Ray and I knew things were even worse then we could imagine....So two days later we went in...Us, Ray's parents, and Ray's two older girls....we all sat in the room and heard the news.....Yes there was a tumor :o( Dr. Scott had seen a spot on his Xray in September...but didn't want to have anything else stress Ray out while the healing from the surgery was so critical, so he was going to watch it. The scary part is...it was NOT there in the end of July.....and since the September Xray has grown quite rapidly so its a more aggressive tumor. This one is located ABOVE the cadaver bone just under the knee cap on the tibia. There is also another "spot" but he is unsure if this is a tumor or not...it may be caused from his rod in the tibia moving....Ray always said he could feel something moving (I thought he was crazy...but Dr. Scott says it is entirely possible) and it is STILL not healed...it has a definite black line all the way between Ray's bone and the cadaver bone....Ok...so.....options......One...is to do a "quick fix" that may or may not get all the tumor/cells out....picture it like a cavity....Dr. Scott would go in...drill out the tumor and use nitrogen to "freeze" the cells...he says the nitrogen goes in about 1mm into the bone...then he would fill it with bone cement. OH and also at that same time he would put another screw in and a plate to help the rod not move so much and "scrunch" the two bone (Ray's and the cadaver) together....Two....amputation....(I don't even know where to begin with this).....Three.....nothing...we just let it run its course.....BUT all this is depending on the complete body bone scan. If there is any more new hot spots....we will not be treating anything. We know this tumor is resistant to radiation (since he was getting radiation to the area) but Ray still isn't a great candidate for chemo.....WHEW....I tell you....we both just wanted to crawl under a palm tree in the Caribbean and forget life for awhile! So the only thing for sure that I know to tell you is that....we are not making a definite decision till after the bone scan...we call on Monday to set that up.....Ok....I am an emotional wreck again to typing this...Please continue to pray for Ray, the girls, me and our Dr's. So we may be guiding to know the right paths. Love to you all!