A current update from June

Ok I am so sorry that I haven't posted before this...I know most of you have heard via word of mouth, text, email etc...but I always like to post on here not only for those of you who haven't heard but for my yearly book we make from the blog...its my scrapbook and journal all in one! Ok...so....Back in the first part of June Ray had his scans and lab work done. His scans included, a CT of his chest, abdomen, pelvis, and left leg. He also had a bone scan head to toe (since that's where the cancer has metastasized ) GREAT news! The bone scan looked great!! Plan for the follow up in another 6 months! CT looks pretty good....there is some unexplained thickening in his intestines. Without going in and looking they are not sure yet....and since Ray is pretty much opposed to any optional surgery...it could be scar tissue, inflammation, or a tumor starting the doc said it won't hurt to wait and we will see what the next scan in six months bring. So good news so far...as far as the lab work goes...his A1C went up two whole points! THAT'S BAD!! So he is supposed to follow up with his endocrinologist and be a much better boy!! We will see what happens with that LOL All in all we couldn't have been happier....it looks like we will finally escape a summer without a month or more in the hospital!!! Ray does struggle daily and I don't want to make lightly of it....His strength is admirable...he is AMAZING! I have to see the extremes here at home and its hard on us all. But we still like to stick to the motto...Make the most of EVERY day! Thanks for again for the endless prayers and support...it means EVERYTHING to us! HUGS!

A much needed update....

Ok...we have had a tremendous amount of "stuff" going on since the last surgery, last post....some good, some great, and others we just would rather not deal with...I think that is why I haven't blogged...if its not in writing its not reality kinda thing again. Ok so Ray had another post op visit since the last one mentioned....Things looked good...but he is a VERY bad patient...still to this day he is only supposed to be on 50% weight bearing...which would mean a cane or crutch assisted....He has been without those devices since about 1 week of surgery!! I know he needs to and should....but you try telling a person who doesn't give a dang to do it! :o) I just let him be him for the remainder of his time! We are scheduled to have a full body scan in little over 3 weeks. So we are trying to act as normal as one can under our circumstances. Ray continues to work in the dispatch office...a tremendous blessing to us all! (The Lord is mindful of our and your prayers!!) But he deals with extreme pain DAILY (no release of it) and constant swelling, and very little sleep again :o( But he is so strong and always...ALWAYS puts on a brave face outside the home (well except for once at the Disney on Ice...Manda you know what I mean) He is finally getting a handicapped placard...which his doctors office was under the assumption he had it this whole time....Ray can be stubborn that way...but its his stubbornness that gets him as far as he is! Well that's it in a very VERY small nutshell! I will honestly try to do better at updates! Thanks for the continued help, cards, prayers and continued love!

2nd post-op visit in January...if only his leg looked this good now!

A post from our family blog from January!...gives some updates...and more to come..

Back to IMC we go.... Not the way I envisioned starting out 2011...but none the less we were at our ever becoming home away from home.....Ray had his surgery on January 5th. We were all in agreeing (Ray, Me, Dr. Scott) that if the tumor was more involved then just IN the bone (i.e. around the bone, in the tissue etc..) Dr. Scott would just take the biopsy samples and close him up. We would then schedule an amputation. If it was NOT involved we were sticking with the "temporary fix". So that was performed! The only other place he currently found cancer cells was in the muscle that was rubbing up against the tumor. So he drilled out the tumor, filled the hole with liquid nitrogen and then put in bone cement. He also did a bone marrow aspiration from Ray's hip and injected it into the sight of his non-union. The non-union is from the surgeries in July. The upper part of the cadaver bone and his own bone were not healing....so he added the marrow and another plate and screw to literally MASH them together! ::crossing fingers:: this works! Ray tolerated the surgery well...and we were looking like we would be out of the hospital sometime the next day....However about 3:30p the next day...Ray had unexplained shivers (no fever) and EXTREME pain. Dr. Scott and I decided to keep him in one more night to see if anything developed. Luckily nothing did....so Friday about noon we made it home....Ray was in good spirits talking with my Dad a even made a few phone calls. I settled in to do some much needed laundry folding....after about an hour he was asleep so I decided to go unwind downstairs for a bit (the girls were still with my family at a movie) after about another hour I thought I better check and see if he is ready for a pain pill...the last one he had was while we were still in the hospital earlier that morning. When I got to our room......My heart plummeted to my feet...it was a sight I will NEVER forget and pray I NEVER see again! Ray was unresponsive....blue lips and toes, the rest of him ashen in color, puffy, and grunting for air!!! I ran for the phone dialed 911. While keeping my calm, I grabbed a rob (last time I forgot), pushed all my neatly folded clothes into the corner as much as I could, unlocked the door, and tried to do as the 911 operator asked me to do. Lay him flat, tilt head back a bit....nothing was working. I was yelling his name, rubbing him (not gently either) I was soooo scared! The first to arrive was a police officer (I was still in control of emotions) I explained he was diabetic and I thought it might be that (again) so I said I would get juice...I learned from a dear friend of mine that if I couldn't get Ray to DRINK the juice I could at least rub it on his gums and that way he would get some of the sugar. Shortly after that (seemed like a week) the paramedics arrived and first thing they did was check his blood sugar. It was GREAT 173. So it wasn't that....by now he began to come around a bit...enough to look at us. (Later I found out that Ray really couldn't hear us...he said he had a very loud ringing in his ears). When the paramedics started asking me the details that's when my emotional roller coaster came to the big hill and descended....luckily my neighbors showed up a few minutes later!! Also on another weird note I felt like a criminal. They (the police officer and paramedics) as they were getting my "statement" were counting Ray's pain pills....it made me feel like I was on trial for overdosing him or that he intentionally took some...I know they are just doing their job but jeesh....I was picturing all those episodes of "Snapped" I watch LOL I kept telling them through my tears "He hasn't had ANYTHING since we have been home" I guess after they counted both bottles and found the full amount they finally believed me :o) So Ray was getting a ambulance ride...the bummer part is that he wasn't stable enough to be transported to IMC.....so we had to go to Lakeview (in MY opinion I really don't like that hospital) so we spent SIX hours there in the ER for them to get him stable and decided if he need to be admitted...answer YEP...another ambulance ride to IMC and we were settled into the room by about 11pm. The conclusion was that Ray does not react well to Oxycontin!!! (He had a two doses at the hospital prior to discharge) And with the bad reaction and only having 1/2 a diaphragm he was to sedated to breathe deep enough therefor causes too much carbon monoxide to build up...and therefor creating a very bad situation! So they kept him over night and we were home again on Saturday about 3pm. (Ray came home to freshly scrubbed walls, floors and new bedding...darn my OCD! I was bone tired!) No repeat ambulance trip but we did have a visit from Praxair Home Health to deliver us Ray's oxygen for sleeping and naps. He did stay home ONE day on Sunday to recuperate but come Monday morning my ever strong and brave man went to work!!! He is amazing!!! Then on Tuesday we had our 1st post op follow up with Dr. Scott. We got to take a look at the new scar for the 1st time, the JP drain came out, and then he was re-wrapped with the instructions of no weight bearing (yeah right!) and to come back in 2 weeks for suture removal! All in all since the two set backs he is doing amazingly well! We still don't have amputation off the table yet. Things that might put it right on the front burner again. Pain intolerance, the non-union continues to be a non-union, better mobility with a prosthesis, or the inevitable cancer returns. We certainly know we are on borrowed time and have a 95% chance of it coming back not only in the leg but also elsewhere in the body. So we still just make the most of every day and we are spending these next few months celebrating Ray's life and making memories while he can!

Morning of the surgery! He looks so sexy in his gown and cap!

Post-op visit getting ready for the unveiling!

If your squeamish don't look here!

Dr. Drill and Fill

You remember those from your childhood?? There was this plastic head and you were the dentist...you molded teeth good and bad and had tools to clean, fix, and pull....well every time I think of Ray's surgery and the procedure they do basically make me think of that...Ok...side tangent! Well Ray's was scheduled to be in here @ 9am. So he went to work this morning about 4am. At about 740a the phone rings its IMC and they want Ray...I say he is not available and she proceeds to say "We know we told you to be in here at 9...but the OR is asking if you can be in at 815a! That was the time Ray was supposed to pick me up at home so we could safely arrive to the hospital by 9am. Off I go a racing to throw things together (I had vegg'ed thinking I had some time to decompress) call Ray in a flurry of activity and get some fire under his buns....but due to Ray's strong work ethic he wanted to finish imputing the dispatch stuff! SO my honey!!! He arrived at 800am at the house we were gone by 803am....arriving at surgical check in at 817am!!! Good thing we didn't have ANY traffic and the one lone cop we saw luckily didn't see me speeding down the road! We got checked in....Ray managed to have his blood drawn and a separate IV...A huge step for him...then we settled down to wait.....he was off to the OR about 10am. We said our good lucks and loves at the door and then headed down to the waiting room. I had only been there about 20 mins when I was told by my Mom that there was Dr. Scott....my heart jumped into my throat...I knew that if he was out ALREADY that they had found it to be involved in the tissue and such...got up to meet him and he chuckled and said "Relax....I am here for another patients family that I just finished up" WHEW!! We all chuckled about that....then settled down for FARKLE! playing and card playing (it really does make the time go easier) about 1100a we got a call from the OR that said they were going to continue with the "Drill and Fill" and the doctor should be out in about an hour and half. Around 1:08p.m. he did come out. And explained that everything went well and Ray held up well. And although the amputation is still not off the table he felt comfortable doing the temporary fix and letting Ray heal some then we can discuss other options as needed down the road! So it was drilled, cleaned out, liquid nitrogen put in to freeze as many cancer cells as he could, another plate inserted with another screw (for the non-union) issue and rod stabilization. He also took an aspiration of Ray's bone marrow from his hip to inject into the bone to promote healing. And finally filled with bone cement. Ray did better this time in recovery not trying to escape the bed!! We moved to the 11th floor and have a great view of the east side of the valley. Ray spent most of the afternoon very groggy and incoherent....People started to disperse so he could rest. Finally about 6pm the nurse decided he was a little TOO groggy and they lowered the pain meds a tad....he was able to be alert and actually ate a dinner of turkey and potatoes and broccoli (and later a contraband brownie!) It took him a while and I had to help feed him and remind him to chew :o) But after that he perked up even more....he talked with this brother and a few friends via the phone and is now settling down again for a bit...the only thing left to tackle tonight is a "nature call" we have till about 11pm for the "visit" other than that he is antsy to get out of bed and "walk" with a walker but he has to wait for PT and so far not a sign of them....I am not sure what the doctors orders are on that...last surgery Ray needed to stay in bed till the next morning. At the rate we are going it might be that way this time as well. I have so many to be grateful for. I am grateful for mine and Ray's family for all the support they give. Also for the help my family is giving to keep our girls happy and safe....also the dear friends who have help hold my hand and give us emotional support as well! Thanks for all the prayers THEY DO WORK! More to come....love to all!

Its back to square one time...

I know its been forever AND a day since I updated here.....I have been overwhelmed with emotions, with the festivities of the season and plain just in denial....if I didn't type anything then maybe *just maybe* it wasn't real! ::sigh:: so much for that......Well here we are on the eve of Ray's surgery and I will give a brief of what we know so far. We know for certain that there will not be an amputation tomorrow. After our doctors visit today we chatted with Dr. Scott and he said he doesn't like his patients going under NOT knowing a plan....is the leg gone? will the leg stay? kinda thing. We did have another x-ray done and unfortunately the tumor has grown again since the last x-ray (darn aggressive thing anyway!) So we (Ray and I) with Dr. Scott on board came up with a game plan. Dr. Scott is a little concerned that the tumor not only is IN the bone but AROUND the bone like last time (tissue involvement type of thing) IF that is the case tomorrow when Ray is opened up he will take a biopsy and close him up. At that point we will do one of two things A: schedule a surgery in the near future for a leg amputation slightly above the knee. Dr. Scott says the prosthetic works better with a artificial joint (aka knee) plus it will give a greater chance of having clean margins. or; B: we will do nothing and let it run its course and treat pain and so forth accordingly. Our choice as of right now definitely leans to choice A. BUT after we find out for sure we will have another heart to heart and find out a time line of life expectancy with just letting it run its course. Ok...next IF it doesn't have tissue involvement we revert to a surgery tomorrow where he will drill out the tumor in the bone take an aspiration from the hip of bone marrow to inject into the bone to promote healing and use liquid nitrogen to try and freeze as many cancer cells as he can. Then fill up the hole(s) with bone cement. He will also at the time secure the rod that may be causing some of the pain and be wobbly. So in a nutshell that is it for now....I promise as things develop I will keep it updated I know we have tons of family, loved ones and friends who are praying and wishes us well and want that update. Thanks to all those who continue to support us. We love you all! HUGS!

My personal lowest week yet...

Ok....so to bring everyone up to speed....We had a few deadlines we had to meet.....Ray had to be back to work no later then November 17th (Our FMLA ran out....if not back by then...no job...no benefits) Dr. Scott reluctantly gave a note (Ray had to follow it to a "T") only one run per day and no lifting and no carrying things. He is still only supposed to put 50% of his weight on the leg and is still on a crutch (we are hoping to purchase a cane soon when we have the money) So Ray goes in to work and they said they weren't too sure of him driving with those type of restrictions. They wanted to check with risk management. So he was sent home that day. BUT the miracle part of that is....the next day they had some "office" work for him to do. Just a few weeks prior they had gotten a new computer system and they are behind inputting all the paperwork. (ever hear the saying when a door closes the Lord opens a window??? HERE is one of those times!) We don't know how long he will have this opportunity BUT it gives him something to do....gives us a little more income (which is so desperately needed! It is so hard to ask for help from family, ask for charity, etc....but without it we would be far worse off!) Ray and I have worried horribly about bills....our mortgage is still too far behind.....and with the holidays it was even more worrisome for the girls...but again we have had SO MANY miracles on our behalf.....I wanted to personal thank all those again who have sacrificed and provided for our family (even those anonymously!!) Ok....that upbeat part done.....Now to the doom and gloom...(and the lowest of the lows) Ray had his CT scan a couple of weeks ago. (They did chest, abdomen, and leg) Ray and I knew when Dr. Ott asked for both of us to be on the phone that wasn't good.....The upper part is clean as a whistle!!! But there was a "spot" that Dr. Ott said showed up on the leg. And since he is not the Ortho Oncologist he referred us back to Dr. Scott. We called their office (they are in the same building as Dr. Ott) told them that the CT was available to view online (isn't modern technology wonderful!) Lani said she would have Dr. Scott look at it then let us know. Well a couple hours later she called and asked when our next appointment was....we said December 16th...she said...well lets get you in now to discuss options....both Ray and I knew things were even worse then we could imagine....So two days later we went in...Us, Ray's parents, and Ray's two older girls....we all sat in the room and heard the news.....Yes there was a tumor :o( Dr. Scott had seen a spot on his Xray in September...but didn't want to have anything else stress Ray out while the healing from the surgery was so critical, so he was going to watch it. The scary part is...it was NOT there in the end of July.....and since the September Xray has grown quite rapidly so its a more aggressive tumor. This one is located ABOVE the cadaver bone just under the knee cap on the tibia. There is also another "spot" but he is unsure if this is a tumor or not...it may be caused from his rod in the tibia moving....Ray always said he could feel something moving (I thought he was crazy...but Dr. Scott says it is entirely possible) and it is STILL not healed...it has a definite black line all the way between Ray's bone and the cadaver bone....Ok...so.....options......One...is to do a "quick fix" that may or may not get all the tumor/cells out....picture it like a cavity....Dr. Scott would go in...drill out the tumor and use nitrogen to "freeze" the cells...he says the nitrogen goes in about 1mm into the bone...then he would fill it with bone cement. OH and also at that same time he would put another screw in and a plate to help the rod not move so much and "scrunch" the two bone (Ray's and the cadaver) together....Two....amputation....(I don't even know where to begin with this).....Three.....nothing...we just let it run its course.....BUT all this is depending on the complete body bone scan. If there is any more new hot spots....we will not be treating anything. We know this tumor is resistant to radiation (since he was getting radiation to the area) but Ray still isn't a great candidate for chemo.....WHEW....I tell you....we both just wanted to crawl under a palm tree in the Caribbean and forget life for awhile! So the only thing for sure that I know to tell you is that....we are not making a definite decision till after the bone scan...we call on Monday to set that up.....Ok....I am an emotional wreck again to typing this...Please continue to pray for Ray, the girls, me and our Dr's. So we may be guiding to know the right paths. Love to you all!

Radiation Graduation!!!!

WHEW I think I am finally getting this blog and our family blog caught up!!! Well as you can tell from the title.....Ray had his LAST radiation treatment!!! I am amazed at this...sometimes it felt like we had be going forever...and now that it is over...its like WOW were did those 6 weeks go....or that's right...radiation and PT! :o) We made some great friends through radiation. Some we only met and knew by face or type of cancer and treatment. Others we became dear friends with....and the staff became the vital part of each treatment for Ray...without their laughter and love he would not have made it! So for his last day we checked the girls out of school and took them with us....we took some donuts...(some of Ray's fav's) and went and celebrated! Afterwards we even treated ourselves to Olive Garden.....(we really had to get creative on the finances for that trip!) But it was worth it! Ray has had an incredibly hard road and this is another small success that must be appreciated, honored, and most of all gratitude to Heavenly Father for this blessing! Ray is still struggling with PT. We have found out that most likely he is capped out at what his function on the foot is....we will continue with PT to try and help with the still ever persistent edema. Our PT talked to Dr. Scott and it looks like Ray will be in the boot and on crutches for another 2 months (at the very least) so we are concerned with the end of FMLA coming up and the possible side effects from that. Please continue to pray for us.....We love you all!!

Ray's LAST "walk" from the treatment room! Wahoo!

Everything is better with a donut involved!

The girls eating their dessert before Olive Garden....life is even better when dessert comes first!

Ray and Courtney ringing the bell together!

Ray's certificate......WAY TO GO honey! I am so proud of you!
Some of the wonderful staff! Kimberlee, January, Natalie...we missed Carolann that day :o(

A special moment with a special friend...

I seriously haven't blogged a lot since Ray started his radiation and we are NOW done (that story to follow)....so sorry to my faithful followers! Well a few Tuesdays ago we had a jam packed day of Dr's. We took the girls out of school. Courtney had another follow up for her stomach issues at the pediatrician. The meds she is on helped these past 3 weeks but still not enough....so her Dr. upped the dose. We also did a well child exam. She is really healthy! And the nurse was astounded at her eyesight...it is 20/13!!! BOTH eyes! She says she never sees it in kids and only occasionally in teens! If the old wives tale proves right...it must be all the carrots she likes to eat! :o) She was also put on a VERY small dose of Prozac. (Yes we know the risks and don't plan it long term, but with careful consideration and advise from the pediatrician we think this is the best step right now) So hopefully it will help within a couple of weeks. So then we took the girls for the 1st time to Ray's radiation treatment. The girls were full of questions and the always helpful and friendly staff were very accommodating. After his treatment was done the girls got to go into the room where it is done and use the controls to lower his bed and help him off....they thought that was the BEST! We followed with a dentist appointment for me! WHEW! I was done and ready for home after that! But we had a dance class for Cami then FINALLY it was home to catch up on homework!



So as we continue Ray's radiation treatments we get to build relationships with the not only the staff, but those who are scheduled around Ray's time (the treatments happened the same time each day for each patient) The lady before Ray, Catherine became particularly dear to me! It was one of those moments when an instant connection clicked! She is battling breast cancer and was very helpful in answering questions and calming our fears as a newer patient. We saw her each day...Well this past Wednesday was her very last day of treatment! So we wanted to surprise her with a little something. It turned out really nice! We (on the sly) found out she liked carrot cake so we got her a cake. And Tory and Sarah found the perfectly pink fabric that had hearts and the breast cancer awareness ribbons and made her a no sew blanket. We wanted to send her off with our love and wishes for a full remission! We will miss seeing her daily but so glad she had accomplished this and gets to move on! She also surprised us with a VERY generous gift certificate for some good comfort food! We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers so hopefully we keep in close contact! My prayer that is always in my heart may we find a cure for cancer soon so everyone in the world will no longer suffer. And families don't have to see their loved ones suffer.

We walked around the corner to the room and saw Ray HIGH up in the air on the bed (I didn't even know he went up that high!)

A quick rundown on the controlsAnd a down he goes!They took turns!! The yummy but OH SO SWEET carrot cake!
Catherine, Ray, and the blankie! Ringing the bell for her graduation from radiation!!

I have lacked I know...

When I was at church today I had several people ask about the blog....and a few weeks before that I had more people inquire. I am sorry for not updating this more regular. We have had lots going on so yes there should have been some updates...but for some reason lately I have been down.....I have felt no motivation, no desire to do extra....and in fact I have been hard pressed to do the bare minimum. I have updated our regular family blog for the most part...so that said let me get you caught up....Ray's radiation treatments are in FULL swing....in fact we only have 2 more weeks worth left! In the very beginning it was going fine....then Ray hit the point of feeling it all! He is exhausted, in more pain (if you can imagine that), has severe edema, and as of a few days ago he is starting to get blistering on his leg. I don't know if the radiation is causing his stomach issues...but those have increased numerously as well. We do reflect though on our blessings. We have met some great people at radiation (remember we go at the same time each day and get to bond with the other patients) I will have a separate post on a sweet lady we met. Ray loves giving the staff something to laugh about each day. And as we learn of the others and their own struggles we can't help but to get down on our knees and thank the Lord for helping us through ours! Some of them have such a greater trial then Ray does. Another step that is on Ray's horizon is PT (Physical Therapy). We had our initial intake appointment with our therapist. It was eye opening....Ray has a LONG ways to go....he has great knee mobility but on the ankle he has little to none. For example the motion of point/flex of the foot he is supposed to have a radius of approximately 45 degrees he has SIX!!! The others are better but not by much. Right now he is scheduled 2 times a day at PT with daily at home exercises...it will increase as he is able to. I really hope to keep you better informed....I know its frustrating on the outside wanting to help, wanting to keep us up and just not getting enough details. As always we are forever grateful for the never ending prayers on our behalf. The sweet letters, the anonymous donations, the phone calls, and all other support. May the Lord bless you ten fold!

One step er I mean hop forward...

Ok so Ray is working on apply 50# of pressure on his foot....not an easy task...its SO tender! We also went to our Radiation Oncologist Dr. Thomson. They did his intact evaluation. Got him tattooed....Yep I am now married to a man with tattoo's! Whoulda thunk it?? :o) They are 5 VERY VERY small bluish dots...this is so the radiation machine laser will line it up exactly each time! Our first appointment for treatment is this coming Wednesday...we will have a "dry run" then an actually treatment. Then he will go Monday-Friday same time each day. Dr. Thomson has decided to lengthen his days of treatment but lessen the amount each time to make it a little easier on Ray's body. The office he practices at is amazing! I got to see how they interact with patients while Ray was in CT. They are very personally involved and I got to experience a lady who was having her LAST treatment! They have this HUGE bell hung in the hall that is the celebration bell and she got to ring it hard and loud! They also gave her a lei and a certificate of completion! All very loving! I guess if someone has to go through this....this is the place to be! Ray also went to his primary care doctor. Ray's sleeping has been getting worse and worse.....so we found a new sleeping pill and so far so good! He sleeps over 5 hours!!! That should go a long way in helping him heal I hope! So please keep your support and prayers coming his way! Its gonna be another long month and a half! Love to you all!

It's a KEEPER!

So we had Ray's doctor's appointment with Dr. Scott today and it looks like we dodged another bullet! Amputation looks like it will pass over the Wojtasek household!! So what else went on??......X-ray...CHECK....Cast removed....CHECK.....foot soak in warm water.....CHECK....a mini scrub with wash cloth...CHECK....select color for new cast...CHECK.....new cast on.....CH....awww not so fast! We are in a boot baby!!! Ray can actually shower normally!!! The X-ray looked good....well the important part that is! Down where the ankle/foot connects with the leg there was a little "fuzz" You wanna know what....this time the FUZZ is GOOD! Who knew I'd like the word fuzz! That indicates the healing!!! The upper part ironically is NOT healing....but Dr. Scott dismissed that with a "I'm not concerned with that....if that part doesn't heal I can go back in and correct it" "The part that was a MUST, is showing signs!" So what does this mean??? Well for starters...the BOOT....Ray can take it off now and then to let his leg "breathe" he can also shower without restrictions (well besides no weight-bearing....still has his companion of the "crunches") He is to now "practice" putting weight on his leg (ONLY WHEN IN THE BOOT) on the bathroom scale and work towards 50lbs these next two weeks....then increase it 10lbs a week...each week after that. So Ray and Dr. Scott had a funny conversation at this point....Ray was doing his quick calculations of the weight bearing and we knew we were following up with Dr. Scott in 4 weeks (this was discussed prior to this conversation) so Ray said "So by the next time I see you...lets see...50 pounds week 1 & 2...then 60 pounds then 70!" Without skipping a beat Dr. Scott said "So I guess that means you will be walking with ALL your body weight bearing!" We all loved it and laughed at that....but then Ray and I had that look between the two of us....That it hits too close to the truth! But we are proud to report Ray did gain TWO pounds!!
We also got the go ahead to start the radiation....now this is bittersweet....it could make Ray more tired and healing ground to a halt...but it will be monitored and it is a step FORWARD! We also talked with Dr. Scott about a possible return to work....and barring any major set backs due to radiation or a recurrence....Its possible by Thanksgiving!!!! WOW! We know we still have major hurdles....and will continue to be tried....money (or lack there of) continues to be a huge issue...but we are blessed beyond measure!!! Oh and also yesterday we heard from Dr. Staskus...and Ray's lab to check for the Insilinoma...was at a .01....No Insilinoma tumor!! Yahoo! I have also included a few pictures for your for lack of better words enjoyment :o) Thanks again to all those who send love, prayers and well wishes...we are also still being blessed with some financial help from family, friends and even the anonymous...if this includes you....THANK YOU!

Love from us to you all....till next time!

A shot??? A blood draw??? Surgery???Bad news??? A smashed toe???Nope....Ray's nerves as he was having his cast cut off :o) Look at this sexy leg!!! NO REDNESS! We still have some dead/black skin but minor!!A look at his NOT so sexy heal! It needs some TLC!! A basin of Heaven! Warm water soak!

Peek A Boo....don't faint....I am updating!

WOW...I looked at the blog and realized it has been since Aug 30th since I last posted....Let me start with a HUGE "I'm sorry!" I know how many of you depend on this to get the updates on Ray...If I for one was on the OTHER end of this I'd be antsy for some info....But in defense of myself....I have been DEAD tired (oops maybe not the best term to use) Being back to work (albeit not many hours) having the kids up and going to school (one willing, one NOT so willing) homework, housework, repeat has taken a toll on me. So literally I have not felt like blogging (which in itself should indicate how stressed I am.....normally I LOVE TO BLOG!!!) Ok that said....I will give you some updates and fill you in.

We have had the run of the mill usual stuff with Ray. His pain management is going well. The annoyance of the slow healing process is aggravating and STRESSFUL! We are still in the "unknown" areas of things. We could still be looking at amputation. So we pray daily that we get improvement! (Thanks to all those who also do it on our behalf!) He H-A-T-E-S the cast, its awkward, heavy, itchy and its starting to smell! He is so agile though with crutches and hopping around....he even helps with the housework (so he doesn't go nuts) he even VACUUMS!! He is cute hopping around pushing the vacuum and using one crutch. He amazes me! We are still battling the low blood sugars. We finally made it to our old endocrinologist (the bad part since she is out of network and we can't get into our "in" network one till November...we have to pay for the WHOLE visit) :o( But we do like her. She adjusted his insulin both Lantus (24 long acting) and Novolog (sliding scale PRN) and is doing a test. She is looking for another type of tumor called an Insolinoma (a tumor that secretes insulin) we should hear back from this shortly. Also she would like Ray to have a genetic test done if this shows positive. Supposedly this type of tumor can be passed on from parent to child. If the genetic lab is positive then all the girls will need to be tested to see if they inherited the gene responsible for that. WHEW....what else, like we need more!!! Also we had another "date" with the paramedics and ambulance and police officers! Monday night (Labor Day) I had just gotten the girls to sleep in their beds and was talking to Ray from the balcony. I asked him if he was ok. He responding with a very rude "I'm fine" (soooo not like Ray) so I came down and felt him. He was sweating profusely and seeming confused a bit AND ornery! So I told him to check his blood sugar and headed to the kitchen for juice...I returned with juice and he had still not got the blood sugar monitor out. I asked 2 more times and kept getting the agitated "I'm fine" response finally I did it myself it said "LOW" which means under 20 (remember normal is 80-140!) at 20 unconsciousness, seizure and death can result! I got the drink in him (barely!) he was loopy and aggressive and then he started the twitching. I called Brek and Mike (sorry so late guys but thanks for running right over!!) Brek tried to get more juice in him and we collectively decided to call 911...he was now not conscious and have seizures. I handled myself well this time...no break downs....no hyperventilating....thanks again Noice's for being there! The police officers arrived 1st. I had the glucagone mixed and read...but they told me to hold off until the paramedics arrived. Once they arrived they tested his blood sugar again and it was still under 20....so they put some "gel-like" glucose in his mouth at the side of his cheek and I had a PB and J sandwich prepared...He finally came around....the first thing he asked was "What happened to my game???" I had turned off the Boise St./Virginia Tech game....that made us all laugh.....and then the next thing he was worried about was his appearance.....he wanted a blanket to cover his undies! Then the mystery of sorts was discovered. While we waited for the paramedics to arrive Brek kept trying to have Ray drink and talk to him....and she kept saying "I think he is trying to tell me something but he can't talk" So then when he was more coherent. He told Brek "I was trying to tell you to get your COLD hands off me!" We laughed again on that! So since we didn't administer the glucagon we didn't have to make a trip to the hospital. And the good part of this stressful night (The girls slept through ALL the commotion!!!) So we are still closely monitoring it. We also have a Dr.'s appointment on Tuesday for another xray and follow up on the leg. Ray is looking forward to having the cast off (even though its only for xraying purposes) at least I can rub it for a few minutes!!! Then the new (stinky free one) goes on! I also need to schedule a Dr. appointment for Courtney....she constantly has a stomach ache (I am sure stress related) and the liquid Maalox helps....so we need her on a stronger antacid RX.

Money woes are here and I believe we are going to have to be more humbled and ask for help and such......the blessing in that aspect though is that Ray's FMLA was supposed to be done in October but due to the merger of his company they were not caught up on paper work and when we got his FMLA papers he has his job secured till November!!!! Blessings!!! Its hard though...its all without pay....AND we have to cover both sides of the insurance premium! ARGH! We need to go to an island and forget our troubles for just a few days! Whew....ok enough complaining. We are grateful! We are blessed beyond measure. And we know the Lord is mindful of us and supporting our way spiritually through all this! Thanks again for the constant prayers and thoughts on our behalf. We love you family and friends!

Weekend in Review....

Well Friday ending up being a re-coop day for Ray.....his leg was pretty swollen from Thursday's excursion.....Friday early eve both girls had play dates...so I got Ray settled then picked up a red box and little Cesar's for the girls and we relaxed Friday night. It was so good for both Ray and I (well actually the girls too) to not have to set an alarm for the next morning stay up a tad later and just "be bums" On Saturday Ray went to his nephews 1st football game with his folks...It was SO windy for him and he said he had to walk a LONG ways to the field...but he had fun....but after he got done with that we were going to stay at my Mom's for a bit (game day!) but I ended up taking Ray home after a couple of hours...he needed R-E-S-T!!! The next day that is what we did! We didn't do ANYTHING beyond playing some games with the girls and then getting outside for the "usual" meeting of the rectangle families! So things are still going ok. Sleep is off or on......Last night Ray slept from 9:30p till almost 4am!!! That was heaven to us all! Those nights are few and far between! Today was back to school and work...I like my time at work and being with the kids but I liked the summer care free'ish days when I got to run on Ray's schedule better...if I had a rough night with him...I was more apt to get a nap at some point during the day...not much of that now. Oh well :o) Ray still isn't really liking his cast...its awkward and heavy.....its harder to move about and sleep with too. We still hae major days of depressions and with all the "What if's", MONEY...and when do we worry about work....yada yada yada.....its just so mentally exhausting for Ray and I...but we know we are blessed and tell each other sometimes on a hourly basis how much we love each other and feel the strength of the other pulling us through a particularly tough time. Its amazing what trial can do for a marriage! I love you Ray and my heart aches for you and I pray each day we see some light!

Awwww Friday!

We have had an ok few days....Ray describes it best when people ask him how he is doing "Some moments are great and then it can change in an instant" Its so true...we never know what the day or even HOUR will bring. Ray is continuing to improve albeit VERY slowly....He is still trying to adjust to the weight of the cast....His analogy is that he knows what those who were giving "cement shoes" by the mafia feel like! And sometimes he says he feels like he is sinking to the ocean. Yesterday he did something grand! Since I was going to work a little longer today he decided to take Frontrunner to his parents....I went with him to the loading platform made sure he got on the train ok...and his parents picked him up at the Ogden depot. He and I were both nervous but it turned out GREAT! He had a nice day with his parents and brother and was a much needed change of venue!!! Then that afternoon he rode back and I picked up back up! It will be a regular thing I think...as long as he feels up to it....on the good mornings this is the thing to do...I guess if he has a bad afternoon and can't return via train we can always pick him up after work/school. We had a mix up with Ray's sleeping pills and the pharmacy....so he had to go last night without them....He didn't think they really helped....OH BOY...yes they do...He got little to none sleep last night! Poor guy....maybe he can catch a nap or two today. Well that's it for now...Hope all is well with you all. HUGS!

Tuesday Date Day...

So Ray and I had our usual Tuesday date (with Dr. Scott!) This one was later in the afternoon (a little more stressful for Ray to wait and think about it all day...but with me working its easier on me and my work) they were very prompt as usual! Lani came right in and removed the dressing and half cast....Ray had already asked me to be in a prime visual spot to look at the leg. (He was reading my reaction) It looked a little better. Not as great of a change from post op week 1 to week 2 but at least its still moving in the right direction! The swelling was better too! The leg was way down and slight improvement in the foot (you could even tell he still has an ankle....although it still looks like a "cankle" :o) Ray heads off to X-ray....after he returns he asks me point blank again if it is improved. I said yes (it took a little convincing for him to be sure I was giving it to him straight up!) So then Dr. Scott comes in...he thinks it looks great too! Everything is still lining up on the X-ray.....not much change....but that's good we are not going backwards. I asked a couple of questions about the leg...1. What was the black spots on and around his incision area....at first look I thought it was dried blood...but as I got closer to it, it had tissue like substance to it...they explained it was dead skin....(DON'T be alarmed) he only has 3 minor/small areas of it. and its normal due to trauma in the area. 2. Ray has this "bump" on his shin again.....I asked Dr. Scott about it....he said..."Well its not the plates (to high) its not the pins (wrong area) He said it could be a tumor growing (unlikely) but in any case we will keep a close eye on it. Nothing is showing up in the bone per Xrays....but X-ray can't rule out things in the tissue. So Dr. Scott decided it was time to CAST the leg!!! Out came the remaining staples....and on goes a RED cast!!! (Ray tried to cover all areas with the red color...Husker Football, U of U supporter, Bountiful Braves supporter and last but not least WPA support (they are RED, white and blue!) The plan is to wear this cast for 3 weeks...then they will reevaluate again with a new X ray and POSSIBLY start a little weight bearing in about 4 weeks! Will possible radiation to follow! We felt blessed to hear such good news...but on the other hand we are stressed....Ray's 12 week FMLA will be up before this all comes about....so the job we just don't know yet.....but will the Lord's blessings we WILL make it through whatever trials we have to endure.

Ok on a lighter note....we think its time we name the "donor" bone in his leg....so when its acting up instead of saying "Awww my leg hurts" he could say "Awww (feel in the name) is giving me a hard time" etc.....we feel it should be a woman's name (for some reason we think is a woman cadaver bone)....and unique...Bertha? Matilda etc...we are looking to YOU for suggestions! Leave a comment if you have a name idea!

Keep in touch for the next update......

A last fling.....

It was our last weekend before school starts and since we have had so much hospital time, doctor visits etc this summer.....we really haven't done anything with the kids. (Thank heavens my Sister, Dad & Mom kept them doing fun things so they weren't bored) anywho....it was our ward camp out last Friday night. Back in May (before any of this medical nightmare unfolded) we booked a motel room in Heber (only 26 miles from the camp out) Ray needs access to our own facilities and lets face it...I HATE camping! We had done an Internet special price which was non refundable....so fast forward till now.....we decided to try it and even if we didn't spend much time at the camp out the girls could swim and have a mini staycation. So since we had a paid room we did it! It turned out fine......The ride to the camp spot was on the brink of TOO much for Ray...it was a lot of dirt, winding, rutted roads.....not very sensitive to a sore leg. But we made it....we enjoyed about 2 1/2 hours and made it to catch a bite of dinner but then he had had it.....he was such a trooper and he so enjoyed seeing everyone and talking! The girls did ok too....then we headed back to Heber and swam to the girls hearts content...I swam some too...and Ray laid in a lounge chair poolside with his foot up and watched the girls giggle and have fun! We even had a late check out so it was a repeat in the morning too! Ray slept so sound Friday night....we all did....I think from his exertion, the bed was comfy, and the black out drapes...we all slept till 8am!! We came home to have some more fun with the rectangle family. The Neff's had rented a HUGE/TALL slip and slide bounce house....Ray enjoyed chatting with every one there too! Then last night he had another GREAT night sleep!!! I think the 2 sleeping pills and now in his system more have been a great move! The leg is slowly healing and not requiring so much pain meds (I was always in awe of how much he was taking and the Dr. kept assuring us it was REALLY needed!) Now we are still working on his sugars...but all in all a great way to spend a final weekend together!

P.S. I just wanted to write to Ray and tell him Happy Birthday....he celebrates his 46th birthday today!! From when all this cancer battle started in 2007 we both wondered which birthday would be his last....and strive to make each day count! I love you Ray....you are amazing....your strength is unwavering....your faith strong as they come....your loyalty to family and friends undying....you are an inspiration to me (an everyone who knows you!) Your a great Dad and husband and friend...I am honored to have you in my life and will give my all to helping you fight and achieve when you want in life! I LOVE YOU!

A rested morning...

This morning Ray and I were talking and it was a pleasant surprise to find that we both almost woke feeling rested! Ray was able to stay in bed from 10p to 2am (with only 1 nature break) then he slept fairly well down in the recliner from 3am till about 6am!!! This hasn't happened in a long while!!! I slept in there two....but I had two companions in bed on and off through out the night...if it wasn't one it was the other and sometimes double duty!! Ray and I have to realized and have patience with them because all this affects them too! Ray also said he feels his swelling has gone down even MORE! Yahoo!!! The true test will be at the Dr. on Tuesday again!!! We got that name of the new endocrinologist and made an appointment....wanna take a guess of when it is????? NOVEMBER 8th! Sheesh.....but if Dr. Ott says she's worth the wait we jumped on board! Since Ray needed to see an endocrinologist sooner we made an appointment with our old one (from the old insurance) she can get us in A LOT sooner but it means a little more out of pocket....but when it comes to Ray....no expense is too great! We see her in 2 weeks. We ourselves have been working hard on adjusting the insulin a bit and I am happy to report we have been in the low 100's for a reading or two! WAHOO!!! So life is moving (baby steps forward) and we just pray daily that the backwards steps (we know we will have several) won't outnumber the forward ones. Hugs to each and everyone of you who continue to support and help us! We wanted to give a great shout out to Laurie W and her family for providing such a D'lish dinner of meatball sandwiches last night! (they were homemade and YUMMY!!) Thanks so much Laurie!!!

A wind in our sails....

So this past Tuesday we went back to Dr. Scott. They unwrapped the half cast....and I think all 3 of us (Dr. Scott, Lani & I) gasped....of course Ray wasn't looking!!! :o) Then Dr. Scott said "Wow what a difference!" And he was right! Its was a 100% better then the week before! He leg is starting to look its regular color, it had MINOR redness along the incision and FAR less drainage...no gray or blackness to it like last week....not intense red and purple like before! It was amazing. Dr. Scott then said that he was encouraged because he knew from our visit last week that his leg would go one way or the other without much room in the middle....he figured it would be amazing results or catastrophic in its demise. Now I want to stress we are NOT out of the woods yet...but the outside healing is one step that we needed to hurdle! Ray was the topic (again) of the Tuesday Tumor Conference. Dr. Scott, Dr. Ott, and Dr. Thomson (all of Ray's doctors) and several others discussed Ray's case and his status (again) Ray was the topic many a Tuesday's at this weekly conference. The biggest decision that was made there was that Ray will NOT do chemo.....they know with his fragility and weight (or lack there of) although it may kill the cancer, it would also in all probability kill him too. So the plan is radiation even though it may not kill it completely.....BUT this is all still a mute point if Ray's ankle/foot.....bone/metal combo heal...its still a concern....and very precarious....if it doesn't not heal he reiterated that the next step is amputation. We also are still struggling with Ray's extreme low blood sugar and lack of sleep.....He has had readings of the blood sugar in the 30's and below 20 remember it should be 80-120!!! This can cause seizures, unconsciousness, incoherent and even death so we are constantly on guard for this. On Tuesday we also saw Dr. Ott (remember we have the Ott/Scott team!) He gave us the "go to" gal for our new endocrinologist ...we will be making an appointment with her. So after looking at the leg and and having the talk of all the new info they removed the stitches and EVERY OTHER staple....so we started with 42 and are down by half!! Next week same thing....Tuesday appointment to check healing....oh yeah and the swelling is down...but not enough for casting....we will see for next week! Ray and I feel better...we had a great heart to heart talk on the way home and the rest of the day.......We both agreed on the chemo and both expressed our fears that we both thought Ray shouldn't have had the chemo anyway...its just feels good to hear the medical team say that as well....We don't know what lies ahead with us and Ray's prognosis yet....but we are blessed tremendously!! We have a strong support system of family and friends...and of course we have Heavenly Father's unending love and support! Thanks again to all! We love you! I also wanted to let Ray know how much I love him. I have an unyielding love for him....and will gladly walk hand in hand with him through any trial! Hugs to you all!

See the healthy looking skin!!!

No sleep...but Hot water!

Ok I know its been a few days since I last blogged but I feel like a broken record ;o) Ray is about the same....we think we might have a tad less swelling in the foot....its hard to tell when its under wraps!!! But he feels like he can move his ankle a bit around where previously he could not. He is hardly sleeping at night (not good) So luckily he catches cat naps throughout the day still. We tried a new method on the sleeping pills and instead of taking them right before bed...we let him go to sleep first and then when he wakes up at his normal 1st time (body seems to wake up about 1am) then we gave it to him. Did it work??? NOPE! In fact it was probably slightly worse.... :o( His blood sugar also is a constant battle today we have had low 30's AND one so low it didn't register (below 20) that means he is at risk for those seizures still. We keep a close watch on him and adjust accordingly. Tonight we are going to have a FHE on how to use 911 and discuss things that way with the kids in case the need arises it won't be such a scary thing to call. Kinda go over the things that the girls might need to answer....review our address again and such. We have had an emotional weekend...with some highs and lows. We had a nice chat with the Bishop...that helped a lot. We had another anonymous $100 dollars delivered to us! If you who generously gave that reads this....Thank you SO much! It means a lot to us and helps us out tremendously!!! Today we also had a new water heater installed thanks to Freestone Plumbing and heating!!! You guys were so generous to us! If anyone is in need of plumbing and heating services look to them...They are AMAZING!!! We go to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully we have a lot of progress to report!! We love you all and feel each and every prayer said on our behalf!

A Couple Days Of......

So since the last blog we have had 2 days of just so-so......The Ambien seems to not help much like it did the first night....he had 2 nights of just so-so sleep. The swelling in his foot/ankle isn't going down despite his best effort to keep it elevated and off of it. The pain is about the same as well...however at night he does seem to be able to go longer stretches while he sleeps without a re-dose of meds! His blood sugar is still out of whack and low most of the times.....He looks tired and worn out.....so during the day for the most part he naps...which is good for him....(thanks to all those who text first to see if its ok to call so you don't wake him up!) we just wish his body clock was 12 hours different and he slept during the night and not day....but since we have really no schedule of sorts....sleep is sleep right???

On a side note our water heater is leaking so it needs to be replaced :o( When it rains it pours!!!

Love to you all! We are blessed to have you all in our lives!